Doing It by Melvin Burgess: Book Review

I picked up a book recently at Borders for $8 and some change. I don't know what possessed me. I figured the title was cute the picture on the cover was cute, and it would be perhaps a comical read about the birds and the bees and dealing with adolescents.
I imagined that perhaps Doing It by Melvin Burgess would be a story about a teen boy, and teen girl, who just started dating and 'doing it' was on the mind of both of them. I also thought it would be a comical look at the troubles surrounding 'it'.
Some Problems I encountered During The Read:
Doing It was a bit hard to understand at first as it was apparent that it was written by someone with a strong European accent. Most of the words and terms in the book included a lot of European slang, and I had a hard time trying to decide what some of the slang words meant.
Here is some of the words I encountered, and my thought on what they mean to us in the US.
Minge = Girls private parts
Shag = Well I need not explain that one...but for those who live in a cave, it means sex.
Knob = Penis
Snogging= Making out
In Doing It, there were even a few weird words thrown in there that I still have no clue what they mean.
I never thought 'Doing It' would be exactly what the title was. I thought things would be a little more discreet. I did not know the author would make sex sound so vulgar and disgusting.
Doing It by Mel Burgess follows 3 boys for the most part. Ben, Jon, and Dino. You take a trip back and fourth as each boy explains their situation from their point of view.
Dino is the main pervert. I mean...character in the book for the most part.
Dino is dating Jackie, one of the hottest girls in school, and he... um... wants to shag her.
Every time the two are together, (which is often in the book) the whole chapter will be about him banging into her butt with his jeans on, and his knob rising and falling. Knickers (underwear) coming off, and going back on.
It's sick, and I actually grew uncomfortable reading most of the content in Doing It. Not because I am uncomfortable with the subject of sex, but because of the books general audience targeting teenagers, and I could not shake this feeling that the author was a bit of a sex fein, and should have been writing for soft core porn magazines, instead of writing for teens in the teen section of book stores.
This one should truly have a rated R rating.
The Dino and Jackie chapters throughout the book don't deal with teenage love at all...for me all I got from their chapters was that Dino was a sick perverted teen, that needed some major F'ing counseling.
Ben:
Ben has issues of his own. He's having sex with his hot teacher. However things go extremely wrong when she gets all possessive.
I won't blow the story for anyone interested in picking this book up, but let me tell you it's just sick.
The whole Ben story was just another sick twist added into this perverted book.
An older teacher and a young boy, doing it; something is seriously loose in this authors mind. I went from reading about pervert Dino, to perverted teachers, what the heck is next!?
Jonathan is next.
He doesn't really have any issues, but he's got a fat girlfriend and everyone makes fun of him for it. Oh but that's okay, his fat girlfriend lets him have sex with her whenever he wants.
The non-stop cruel way the writer tore apart this obese character was just horrible. The fat jokes were also non-stop, and actually got really old and tired.
Yeah that's pretty much the story without giving anything... wait... there was nothing good. I felt like Doing It, was the authors perverted little fantasies all written down in ink and printed for the masses.
There was no good story line here, the plot was just cut up into different little sex scenes and nothing was really going on but humping, and bumping in each chapter. What the hell!?
All of the characters are nasty, disgusting vile pigs. I was just waiting for there to be a lesson in all of it, but there was none.
Cheating was acceptable in the book, and everything that happened that should have been unforgivable went forgiven. None of it made sense. The entire book was just a very long porn magazine article written by a dirty mind.
I have no idea why Elle magazine would give this garbage 2 thumbs up. I give it one finger. You know which finger I am referring to.
'Doing It' is vile, and it's crude.
I would not of hated it so badly if it weren't for the way the author portrays woman as stupid mindless sex treats to be taken advantage of and treated poorly. I know it is just a 'story', but the 'story' rubbed me the wrong way.
Overall:
This type of book is not meant for a teen. I don't know who would categorize it towards them. Keep you're kids away from this filth.
Recommendation:
This nasty book contains 272 pages of porn for kids and teens.
Trust me it's the first book I have ever read where I have said... "Let's have a bonfire" afterwards.
Sorry, I cannot recommend this one to anyone. If it had some sort of lesson included for teens, then perhaps I would say yes, it gives a good lesson to kids... it deals with teen pregnancy, or something like that, however Doing It sadly deals with nothing but dirty sex scenes with no actual point.
For a better understanding of just what kind of filth I am talking about, take a look at the first few pages from it on this excellent write up.