South Beach Diet: Granola Clusters, Cherry Almond

I diet randomly throughout the year. One month I'm eating like a pig with two stomachs, and another month I'm pecking at food like an emaciated bird. I call it the forever diet. Too fat and lazy to stick to eating healthy forever and committing to a healthy lean mean lifestyle, and at the same time careful enough not to blow up into balloon type territories.

This month I'm on yet another diet kick. I hated Nutrisystem, I knew I could of just eaten Lean Cuisines for an entire month with the same results... saving myself a lot of money.

I figured this months Melissa diet would include the following: NO MORE JUNK SNACK FOODS! Yup, that's my killer problem. I'm a snacking junkie. Cookies, chips, oh my. Ice cream, chocolate bars... oh yeah!!!!

But sigh, my thighs are taking a toll. I can't run without causing a forest fire in between my legs. (Okay maybe my issue is not that severe, but the more I poke fun at myself, the more motivated I am to eating astronaut foods).

So, no more cookies, cakes, brownies, chips, dips, and all of those delicious foods that cause TS (two stomachs).

I can still snack though. Indeed, I can snack. They have these gnarly little bags of 100 calorie snack foods that I will now much on instead. A friend told me I should try the South Beach Diet instead of those wasteful 100 calorie packs (that just cause me to eat more due to their small portions).
 
I didn't dive into the whole South Beach Diet lifestyle; oh no! I decided to try out their snacks. Turns out they had a slew of snack foods that I could enjoy. I decided on a few things, but up on the chopping block today was one of the first snack foods I had ever tried from South Beach Diet.

Granola Clusters- Cherry Almond
 
Now on the box they looked damn good! I imagined there would bee some chewy cherries in the mix with the granola clusters. I LOVE cherries, so naturally I was pumped up to give these yummy looking clusters a try.

At home I yanked open the mini bag of clusters and was greeted with a very high powdery scent of cherry. I poured some out of the bag and into my palm, and observed my new healthy snacks.

Errr... they looked a little dry, flaky, and...where the HELL are the cherries!?!? Oh those micro flecks of maroon colored skin flakes... I suppose those are the remnants of a once delicious juicy cherry.

Sigh. This crap looks like cardboard. I wish I had a brownie!
 
I opened my mouth and popped in the small handful of cardboard flakes...I mean South Beach Diet: Granola Clusters- Cherry Almonds.

I chewed, and chewed...and the more I chewed the more apparent it became that I was gnawing on clusters that tasted like cardboard bird feed, mixed with some goddamn cherry flavored cough syrup.

 Once my brain told me I was chewing on cough syrup clusters, I expelled the remains in the garbage pail. Yep... South Beach Diet: Granola Clusters- Cherry Almond is so disgusting I couldn't even find the courage to swallow these healthy snacks.

What sucked was that I was so turned off by these clusters, that I was by no means interested in ever giving The South Beach Diet a try again. Too bad for me, because I had a few packages of South Beach Diet milkshakes. I'll save that for another review.

Overall:
 
South Beach Diet: Granola Clusters- Cherry Almond is straight up yuck in a pack. The clusters taste like cardboard mixed with cough syrup. There is nothing appetizing about them. The taste alone is not worth the 5 grams of fat that come packed into the snack sized package.