Blu-ray Movie Review: Witless Protection

I love Larry The Cable Guy, sincerely. He's a funny dude with a crude sense of humor, that has always come off in an innocent immature childish type of way.

Witless Protection on Blu-ray though just failed to impress me. The entire movie was sketchy, jumpy, and failed to release that humble roar of laughter that Larry The Cable Guy is usually capable of doing.

Witless Protection is about a hillbilly redneck sheriff's deputy whom has always dreamed about being an FBI agent. While sitting down at a local restaurant with his buddies a blond woman walks into the place followed by 4 men in black. Larry immediately sees this as an opportunity to get recognition, because he has this hunch that this blond woman needs help. For some reason he feels she has been kidnapped by these men, so he takes it upon himself to kidnap her from what he feels are her kidnappers.

It turns out though that the 4 men following her are actually FBI agents who are meant to protect her, because she is a witness to some huge case they are working on.

As the movie goes on though, it turns out that these 4 MIB may not be there to help her, but more or less to keep her away from actually being on the witness stand. The 4 men who were made to protect her, are actually hired by the guy who she will be testifying against.

Now that Larry has her in his custody, a good portion of the movie deals with the 4 MIB tracking him and her down, to get her back.

My Feelings:
 
Witless Protection's plot was nothing to go ga-ga over; In fact, during some parts in the movie, I was downright confused.

In one particular scene Larry decides to fake the blonds death by blowing up his own car.

No less than 2 seconds later, the MIB come looking for her at a funeral home?! I was left completely baffled on why they would immediately seek out a funeral home looking for her, instead of a seeking out the local hospital first.

To make it worse, the blond was given a shot of some sort of botox serum that would put her into a deep sleep to make her appear dead. She lies in a coffin, and these FBI agents are actually convinced she is dead, while Larry beats her in the face to convince them she is as good as dead.

The whole scene was straight up mind baffling, to fast, and made absolutely no sense.

Blu-ray:
 
I try as often as I can to get movies in Blu-ray, rather than standard DVD. However over my time I have come to realize that not all Blu-ray discs are alike. Some display the picture in beautiful quality, and others...well, they look just as well as a standard DVD.

Witless Protection on Blu-ray definitely displays the movie in a much higher picture quality. Grass looks greener, fibers on clothing are very detailed, and heck you can even see a few pimples on Jenny McCarthy's forehead. Small details like this you would usually miss on a standard DVD.

All in all Witless Protection looks pretty damn stunning when played on Blu-ray. Although I found the movie to be pretty bland and lack luster, I am glad that viewing it in Blu-ray made the movie somewhat more tolerable.

It is not the best quality Blu-ray Disc I have seen so far, but it is done up rather well.

Overall:
 
Without ruining the rest of the flick, I'll simply say that Witless Protection was nothing more than a bad plot, with some stupid senseless fart humor, and racist remarks thrown in for no good reason.

You can only use fart jokes for so long in a movie till they become over played and get boring. In every other scene Larry was passing gas, and making a joke about the fart. It seriously was all the movie had when it came to comedy.

Witless Protection in my opinion gets a solid 1 star rating out of 5. It's just ashame too, because I find Larry The Cable Guy to be a pretty funny fella. This movie though just failed all around.