Movie Review: Rob Zombie's, Halloween Re-Make

Alright, so I knew that Rob Zombie was some sort of sick perverted freak after watching The Devil's Rejects, and House of 1000 Corpses. I thought though that when he re-made Halloween the dude would do it with some class and dignity to satisfy the fans of the classic...and perhaps make some new Halloween fans.

The movie started off great. It featured Mike Myer's as a child. It showed his family, what they were like, why Mike perhaps grew up to be the killer that he became, and it displayed his psychopathic ways early on.

I liked it, it was neat, it showed a part of the classic that no one had seen, only heard.
 
Mike liked hurting animals, took photos of road kill, and basically was the prime example in documentary's you may of seen on evil kids.

Lets fast forward a tad. Mike is in the bathroom and is getting teased by some other peers about his mom being a stripper. He attempts to beat them up, but is stopped by a school official.

So Mike finishes up some work later in in the woods that he couldn't finish in the bathroom.

Things seem fine in the Myer's family till Halloween night. He goes completely bonkers and kills everyone in his family...all except for that cute little baby that he likes.

Mom comes home from work, finds a dead family, and Mike is proven to be the killer. So...the kid ends up in a mental hospital where he resides for 15 years or so.

Mike remains there silently making paper mache masks, never talking, speaking or causing any problems. Until one night when 2 new security guards decide to come in and rape a new patron in the hospital.
This was the first scene that 100% disturbed me. It's disgusting, unnecessary, and seriously makes me question Rob Zombie. Did this freak accidentally stumble upon a snuff film as a child? Because this scene was disturbing, and sick. The rape scene should not of been thrown in... from here on out the movie was basically ruined for me.

Halloween went from being a cool movie to crap and it all began with that scene.

From there is just got worse. Questions went unanswered. Time tables became confusing, and it became a low grade porn film. If I wanted to watch porn I would of watched porn. Every 10 minutes all I saw was another set of jiggly tits running by the camera.

I love horror films, but I absolutely hate when tits are displayed in every other goddamn scene. If you are making a horror make a horror. Not a horror porn, which in my opinion should have a whole new grading criteria then just rated R.

Crap films like this should be rated XXX or RRR. You have your rated R films which may flash a boob with no nipple, or a butt. Then you have crap like this where it's nothing but tits and ass in every other scene.

After the rape scene Mike of course kills everyone and escapes the mental facility. This was where things got so retarded. After a mass killing like this, you know damn well officials would of been on the prowl for him...yet for some reason it's some huge secret, and no one bothers to check out Mike's old house he grew up in. Obviously he is going home, so why wouldn't the local police be alerted that a mass killer is on his way home.

Yeah, yeah, there would be no movie if that were to happen. But come on... a little reality always makes a horror that more tasty.

After the brutal murders in that hospital, he'd of been sought after and found in a matter of moments in real life. Zombie should of been a tad bit more creative and realistic when it came to the scene where he kills everyone he encountered at the hospital. 2 killings would of been high profile enough... an entire facility, you know they're going to get him, and fast. Yet only 2 people go out to find him!? What!?

That's like capturing Bin Laden then not alerting anyone when he escapes. (Not that giant, but you catch my drift.)
 
Sooo...
 
Now he is free, and he is out to find his little sister that he left alive before he got locked up.
 
I won't ruin what happens, but the rest of the movie involves blood, boobs, and a lot of yawning.

Seriously, what a disappointment. Halloween 2007 had a good pitch at first, and then the movie just turned for the worse, and it just kept got worse and worse as it went on.

At points it got so ridiculously stupid and porn'y' that I wanted to turn it off. My boyfriend insisted we at least try and finish it. (He wanted to look at more boobs I guess, even though the rape scene was disturbing for him).

Overall:
 
Halloween the remake sucks. Big time. For some it will become a favorite only because they are fans of Rob Zombie himself, and not the actual classic Halloween.

Sad.
 
I don't care how much of a fan you are of Zombie, you know a sucky film when you see it. Honestly you have to have some screws loose in your own head to like this disgusting flick (some dorks like to pretend they are insane though).
 
Zombie likes to please perverts, then so be it. I though, have no respect for garbage like this. After The Devil's Rejects I should of known better. Why I gave this one the benefit of the doubt is beyond me.